Many women in general are suffering not just through the Christmas season but all year long as they are the sole providers for their families. While it is sad that children dont have both parents in their homes, they can still be raised by a strong and independent Mother. The focus needs to be re-directed into becoming self-sufficent. I have researched many organizations and have listed them here to meet as many possible situations that I can. As a previous financial planner, my job was to help families reorganize their lives and prioritize to get rid of debt and generate more income. Planning must take place in every part of our lives in order to change what is holding us back or keeping us from prospering. Just because you receive government aid today does not mean you will be on it in 2 years but you must make the most of every dollar that you receive now to change your future. My hope is that with some independence, women who are on their own with little family support and resources will gain back their respect and confidence to raise their children and have a better tomorrow. Going to school was the single most important thing Ive done in my life. It allowed me to leave a bad marriage and opened opportunities for me and my children that I would not have otherwise had. The other very important part of my independence was credit. It too years of not having good credit for me to realize how important it is. it is fixable. I have had wages attached, filed bankrupcty twice, cars repossed, and still have purchased two homes this year. Time fixes credit. You just cant allow the same behavior that got you over your head to continue. Sometimes its through no fault of your own, it may be an ex or someone you trust but there are ways to safeguard your information so that once you build your credit back up, its protected. The final thing you need is a support system. If you dont have family or close friends, this is hard. My suggestion is to join a local church and get involved. You would be amazed at how many people will help you with rides, babysitting, advice, and become an amazing support to you. Here are some links below that have more information on helping single women. Be blessed.

Grants for Single Moms

Established in 1996 by Ms. Doris Buffet, the Sunshine Lady Foundation is dedicated to helping mothers get out of abusive relationships and get back on their feet. The fund provides money for education, offers scholarships, and is dedicated to helping families in crisis.www.sunshinelady.org  

www.sunshinelady.org 

This organization is dedicated to providing a helping hand to those who are trying to get back on their feet. They help train women for positions in the work force that will allow them to make a living wage and take care of their children without help from the government or welfare programs. Find out more at www.ourfamiliesourfuture.org.  

These are awards given to mothers who are the primary money-earners for their families, and who are furthering their options by going back to school. The cash award recognizes hard work and rewards it with not only the money, but the recognition of a job well done. You can learn more about the awards at www.soroptimist.org.  

There are many organizations, both private and public, that are based in your specific area. Start by looking in the phone book for organizations like Helping Hands or the Salvation Army. These are good starting points to help you find further information on financial help for single mothers, including free money for single moms. To find further information on governmental grants, visit the Catalog of Federal Domestic Assistance at www.cfda.gov.  

Medication Help

You are a single mom, so if your employer doesn't provide affordable health insurance, you may not have access to it at all. What are you supposed to do when your children are sick? It is difficult enough to pay for the doctor's appointment, but when you head to the pharmacy you will find yet another financial hurdle that you must jump. The good news is that there are prescription programs you can use to help you save some money on the rising cost of prescription medications 

If you qualify for a program, your physician will have to apply for the program for you. These programs are often designed for those who need ongoing medications. Perhaps you need help paying for your child's inhaler or your blood pressure medication. If so, then this is a good route to pursue.

Credit Help

Credit card companies might seem like daunting places, businesses so big that they would never listen to a mere cardholder, much less a single mom who happens to be far in debt with them. But you might be surprised at how responsive the credit card companies will be if you simply ask them for some help and appeal to the customer service representative's sense of goodwill. In order to negotiate credit card debt you need to first make the call and talk with your credit card company. 

Explain your financial situation and you might be surprised at what happens. If you are honest with the credit card companies, they tend to help you as much as they can.

If you know you can't make your minimum payments, ask them to suspend your account and negotiate monthly payments. That way, they know you won't be getting deeper into debt, and you will be paying them a certain amount every month. They would rather have a little bit of money than none at all.

If you feel that you need some extra help to deal with your financial situation, then consider partnering with a credit counseling agency. However, choose carefully. Many companies market themselves as consumer credit advocates, but they are actually only looking to make a profit.

Choose an agency that is a member of the National Foundation for Credit Counseling or the Association of Independent Consumer Credit Counseling Agencies.  

One of the main services they will offer is helping you create a workable budget that will give you the ability to pay off your current debt and avoid future debt. They may negotiate with creditors to lower your payment or your interest rate, and they may work out a debt repayment plan for you that they will implement on your behalf. These are all things you can do on your own, but as a single mom you may not have the time.

Disabled Moms

If working isn't an option at all, there are other ways that you can find support. If you're unable to work because of a disability and are under the age of 65, you might be eligible for Supplemental Security Income, or SSI. Visit the website or your local Social Security office to learn more and apply for aid. You could be eligible for SSI even if you've never worked. Also check with your state's Department of Human Services for information on financial support, food stamps, and other aid.

Don't overlook non-profit organizations on your quest for help. There are many non-profits that have been established to help people with disabilities. Easter Seals offers job training, child care, and more. Search the internet for non-profits in your area designed to help. You could also call your local United Way and ask for referrals. And don't forget about the grants that are available for people with disabilities. Search Grants For Women to find the perfect one for you and your family.

The search for financial support might not be easy, and you may need to fill out countless forms and speak with several different people, but where there's a will, there's a way. Keep your spirits up and know that help is just around the corner 

Families First/Temporary Assistance for Needy Families - This program gives a small cash amount to families who are struggling with finances. It is meant for those who have children and are finding themselves unable to afford even the basic necessities. While on TANF, a parent is expected to work or train for a job for a minimum of 30 hours per week. They are also expected to keep their kids in school, get all vaccinations for their children, and work with the courts to establish paternity and start child support proceedings. The TANF program might also include food stamps.

CHIP Program - The Children's Health Insurance Program is a government-funded insurance plan available in every state. The program caters to those who cannot afford insurance on their own. It covers children for everything they need - medical, dental, and vision - and does so with either no co pays or very small ones. The CHIP program in your state is a godsend for those who are struggling to pay the bills and are worried about the health and well-being of their children.

WIC - Women, Infants, and Children. The WIC program is one of the most successful government programs for financially-strapped mothers. The program consists of coupons for free items every month. These items are the basics required for pregnant or nursing mothers and children up to the age of five. The financial limits on WIC are higher than that of other programs, so your odds of acceptance are very good.

Free or Reduced Meals - For many children, having a good meal at school might be the only time they get the nutrition they need. The government recognized the need and set standards for free or reduced lunchtime meals in all schools across the country. If your family falls under the income limits, your children can get lunches at a reduced price or for absolutely free. This counts for breakfast, too.

Food Stamps - For those who have empty cupboards, the food stamp program can come to the rescue. Established in 1964, the food stamp program has stamped out malnutrition in this country, but hunger continues. The program gives millions of dollars each month to keeping families fed and healthy 

How Do You Apply? Visit your Department of Human Services office to find out if you qualify for any of the programs listed here.   



































Credit Help

Credit card companies might seem like daunting places, businesses so big that they would never listen to a mere cardholder, much less a single mom who happens to be far in debt with them. But you might be surprised at how responsive the credit card companies will be if you simply ask them for some help and appeal to the customer service representative's sense of goodwill. In order to negotiate credit card debt you need to first make the call and talk with your credit card company. 

Explain your financial situation and you might be surprised at what happens. If you are honest with the credit card companies, they tend to help you as much as they can.

If you know you can't make your minimum payments, ask them to suspend your account and negotiate monthly payments. That way, they know you won't be getting deeper into debt, and you will be paying them a certain amount every month. They would rather have a little bit of money than none at all.

If you feel that you need some extra help to deal with your financial situation, then consider partnering with a credit counseling agency. However, choose carefully. Many companies market themselves as consumer credit advocates, but they are actually only looking to make a profit.

Choose an agency that is a member of the National Foundation for Credit Counseling or the Association of Independent Consumer Credit Counseling Agencies.  

One of the main services they will offer is helping you create a workable budget that will give you the ability to pay off your current debt and avoid future debt. They may negotiate with creditors to lower your payment or your interest rate, and they may work out a debt repayment plan for you that they will implement on your behalf. These are all things you can do on your own, but as a single mom you may not have the time.

Disabled Moms

If working isn't an option at all, there are other ways that you can find support. If you're unable to work because of a disability and are under the age of 65, you might be eligible for Supplemental Security Income, or SSI. Visit the website or your local Social Security office to learn more and apply for aid. You could be eligible for SSI even if you've never worked. Also check with your state's Department of Human Services for information on financial support, food stamps, and other aid.

Don't overlook non-profit organizations on your quest for help. There are many non-profits that have been established to help people with disabilities. Easter Seals offers job training, child care, and more. Search the internet for non-profits in your area designed to help. You could also call your local United Way and ask for referrals. And don't forget about the grants that are available for people with disabilities. Search Grants For Women to find the perfect one for you and your family.

The search for financial support might not be easy, and you may need to fill out countless forms and speak with several different people, but where there's a will, there's a way. Keep your spirits up and know that help is just around the corner 

I am a 30 yr old single mom and I lost my job dealing with my 6 yr old daughter's situation. Last August 2009 she was sexually assualted by her brother which cost a rift between her dads family and myself I spent time trying to find resources to help her and continue to go to work. Ive had to take off work due to her withdrawing from school or disruptive behavior and when I asked her dad for help to get her counseling he told me I was on my own. Her dad and I have been divorced for 3 years now and he has stopped working so I no longer have child support coming in. I just got another job and from the time I lost my job I until now Ive work for a medical staffing company to keep sum money coming in to pay rent but they have been canceling my shifts which leaves me with no money. Today I went to a Nursing facility and was hired on the spot but they only get paid by monthly which means I wont get a pay check until 12/1/2010 I am desprately seeking help because I only have 2 weeks to come up with 800.00 and 11/1/10 it will be higher . I have even left my car broke down just to pay my leasing office and catch the bus to work and its hard but Im trying. I have no where and absolutely no where to go with my daughter and maintain this new job which is only a 30 min bus ride from where I live currently. If there is any help at all you can give me words will never express my gratitude even if its a contact for some to help me so I can get things under control and get my daughter the help she needs. One postive thing about me being off is I was able to go to her school be with her and be home to comfort her when she needs it and that has smooth things out a little but I still need to go to work so I can keep a home because no one would want to be on the streets with their children. I pray you can help and if your not God bless you anyway for just having the heart to want to help someone but I do understand you are only human and can do so much. I will however continue to pray for your organization and the people needing help. I pray the God opens doors for you to be able to do more as well as bless you abundantly in your personal lives...Thank You

Free money, Grants dont have to be paid back...Single moms, homeless, Felons, www.grantforschool.com

There are several routes to check out. One is to set up a group home in the community. That would have to be approved through Health and Welfare and Medicaid and they would have to be willing to take in foster children or whoever was approved by the state. Starting place is health and wellfare. Then check with the city all records are public (county records) Find out who owns the property and if there are back taxes owed. Sometimes a home for back taxes is easy to get into. Third check with Loans Home loans on Farm Loans what most people don't understand about those is they don't have to be a farm and they don't have to be out of the city however, they do have to be rural. Your farm bureau can tell you where the boundaries are. Also some owners will donate property if they get a tax right off so it goes back to who owns the property. Salvation army may know about housing funding. But you can always go on the internet for fair housing under HUD. Those are starting places. Don't know if it will help each state is different. Good Luck

Hi

I am sorry for the loss of your son to cancer. I have friends who lost their sons and I know it has hurt you deeply. You have my deepest sypmpathy.

You can check my blog for help and information as I don't know yet your state just go here to my blog.

 http://starshine1.aidpage.com/

Please remove your phone number as someone will reach you here for your safety...

 Call 211 and ask for resources for food and see my blog for more information..

i dont have a picture of me i lost my son to cancer and i havent been on track since i need help i lost my job due to the recession

and i need help just for a month of rent and some food please help me if you can help me 832359-7224

Nicholas is in jail since Feb for possesion of firearm by felon..Great Dad ??? Many charges pending.. among them are several cases of ID theft...even to his brother... Family is all we have in this world ?? The truth is not pretty.

VERY : very nice and I thought this was one of the work at home related tales which cost to find out a long arduous task . bravo for your success ! if you are interested in another at home past time via blogging an making a success of it .  check out my blog if you like . no cost or redirects simple effective advice on blogging look here > http://betterbloggingguide.blogspot.com/

Also check out this one as a directive an association of blogging terminology associated with an feeling of blogging references too here > http://allinoneguidetobloggingreferences.blogspot.com/2009/07/quick-reference-guide-to-blogging-terms.html

Hope this may help in possible alternative ideas etc.

my complete listing of blog posts can be found here > http://www.blogger.com/profile/17420780266615900056

Your writing of your post is fantastic .

Cheers Sincerly                  Dirtdog

Happy Father's Day to all the Single Mom's

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You don't know me. You never helped me specifically, but I could never thank you enough for changing the live of kids who, like past me, have to grow up without a father. He died when I was six years old. I used to hate only filling out half of each school form. I hated that all that stress had to be put on my mom and I worried about her all the time. My family was absolutely torn apart. My grandmother had what is called situation depression for year.She lost her youngest son. Sometimes I feel like if was most unfair to my dad. He died at age 28, he didin't get to see his kids graduate high school or college or be successfull. I really want to help kids who are growing up without a dad because it warms my heart when it brings the family closer together and the kid grows up to be succesfull.

First of all, I think that this is a wonderful thing that you are doing.  There are so many people out there who need help and pointed in the right direction. Keep up the good work.

Now, here's my story.  I am a single mother of an 11 year old.  I recieve little financial help from his father and no physical help.  In fact, he hasn't seen him since he was a year and a half.

I few months ago I was scammed out of $1400.  This put me behind on all my bills.  I had borrowed the money, and my pay check went to pay back all the loans.  Even that wasn't enough to cover them.  I had to live off of the meager $66 a week I get in child support for 2 months. (I have contacted everyone and reported the scam.  I don't know if I will be able to get my money back though.  I have not heard anything as of today.)

I have since been able to get somewhat caught up on my bills.  The one major problem I am having is my rent.  It wasn't a problem before this all happened, but I have since gotten behind 3 months.  I don't want to have to look for a new place to live.  My son and I love it here, and he has many friends in the neighborhood.

I have tried to get some rental assistance, but I make $1000 too much.  This is a problem I am running into everywhere I turn.  I make too much money.  I don't know where else to turn.  If anyone has any ideas or resources I can contact, they would be most welcome. 

Thanks for listening and God bless.

My husband had a heart attack in Oct, had two stints put in and we also got guardianship of my niece. So now we have 3 kids and live in a small house and in dire need for a bigger one. I have a teen and a preteen besides a big teen. We both work and I also go to school full time. I am very busy trying to better myself for my family and I need much needed help to have the money to find a bigger place. Please if you find it in your heart to help us. We also have NO insurance to pay for his bills. I

hi my name is miriam and i'm the mother of three daughters and i make 6.55 an hour and my rent is 600.00 a month and i work as many hours as i can on as little sleep as my body can take to support me and my girls. last month i got a very large gas bill which has taken two months to pay and i am no longer receiveing child support since the girls dad has lost his job in oct., i do receive food stamps which i am very thankful for. i feel pushed into a corner everyday lately my kids need shoes and school supplies. i feel more like a failure every day looking at them. my two yougest ask for .50 to buy a slushy at school and i cant do that. everything i make has to be paid on a bill or rent. the gas bill was very high because my windows are not insulated well so i put blankets up to them to try to hold in the heat. i didnt realise how stressed i was til i just started writing this. even if we are not picked thank you i got to cry and say what i have carried for a very long time.  please know that you and the ladies are being a real blessing in someone's life.

momov31@yahoo.com

oh my gosh you ladies are awesome ! please tell the others as well . i came to this page to ask for help then started reading some of the stories. as hard as things are for us right now i am grateful for what i have and things don't seem as bad now. i know you will be a blessing for someone in worse shape than i am . god bless you and your friends. cheryl

HI GOOD DAY IM JOANNE PEREZ FROM THE PHILIPPINES,IM SO HAPPY TO THAT THERE ARE STILL SOME PEOPLE WILLING TO LEND THEIR HANDS FOR THOSE LESS FORTUNATE PEOPLE LIKE ME....I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO, I DONT WHERE TO TURN TO,OUR HOUSE HAS BEEN MORTGAGE FOR SO MANY YEARS...WHEN I WAS CHILD MY FAMILY USED TO LIVE IN A SMALL HOUSE IN A  SQUATTERS AREA,MY MOM IS A SALES LADY AND MY FATHER IS AN ORDINARY EMPLOYEE,WE ARE FOUR SIBLINGS...ME AND MY SISTER WILL GET SOME WOODS FRON TREES AND SELL IT TO OUR LANDLADY,AS AN ELDEST DAUGHTER IWANT TO HELP MY PARENTS TO EARN MONEY,MY HEARTS BREAK WHEN I SAW THEM SO TIRED OF WORKING TO THE POINT THEY BECOME SICK....I MEAN AS OF NOW IM STILL CRYING...WHENEVER I SAW MY SISTERS CRYING BECAUSE THEY ARE HUNGRY AND THERE IS NOTHING TO EAT..MY MOM DECIDED TO WORK IN OTHER COUNTRY JUST TO GIVE US GOOD FUTURE,ALL OF US BEEN SEPARATED WHEN MY MOM LEFT.I STAYED IN MY AUNT HOUSE....SOME OF MY SISTERS STAY IN MY OTHER AUNT.MY MOM BEEN SO DEPPRESSD SHE WANTS ALL OF HER DAUGHTER WOULD STAY IN THE SAME HOUSE...SO MY MOM WORK HARD AND HARD UNTIL ..SHE BUY OUR OWN HOUSE ...YES OUR HOUSE....WERE ALL HAPPY BECAUSE WERE LIVING IN THE SAME HOUSE...

BUT THERES AN INCIDENT THAT I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD HAPPEN .....OUR HOUSE BEEN MORTGAGE FOR SOME REASONS THAT IS REALLY NEEDED TO BE MORTGAGE ...

THAT HOUSE IS A PLACE WERE WE BUILD OUR DREAMS

THAT HOUSE THATS BEEN THERE IN ALL OUR UPS AND DOWNS

THAT HOUSE THAT SEE US AS WE GROW

THAT HOUSE THATS COME FROM MY MOM HARDWORK

BLOOD AND SWEATS...

WHICH IS NOW NOT LONGER US....

MY ONLY HOPE,MY ONLY WISH IS TO GET IT BACK AGAIN....I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO IT BUT WITH YOUR HELP

I KNOW I CAN MAKE IT....

 I KNOW THERES STILL A CHANCE ,BECAUSE IN GOD THERES ALWAYS A WILL I KNOW HE WILL TAKE CARE OFME,HE WILL HELP ME..

I REALLY MISS OUR HOUSE,NY SISTER ALSO WANT TO STAY THERE....

PLS HELP TO GET IT BACK AGAIN...

HOPE TO HEARFROM YOU SOON

HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY AND GOD BLESS

HERES MY EMAIL ADD joanne_perez04@yahoo.com

Hello,

I don't know if your group is still helping or not. To be honest its awkward to post a personal story on a random place found on google. Anyways, I am writing this for my sister, Crystal, and her family. They are perhaps the most amazing people ever. They have 4 kids, one car and a lovely suport network. Her husband, David, is a former Marine who has been layed off from work for the past year. He was a survayor but as we know times are getting harder still. My parents are helping them to make ends meet and my wife and I got them a washing machine for christmas. Their old washer was on its last leg and took forever to wash anything. Crystal even trys to start up new work for herself in order to try and make ends meet. I will not be able to do this story justice on the computer. It takes at least an hour to explain it all. The short and sweet is that they need some breathing room for atleast one month. A month where they are not wondering how God is goign to do it today. God is amazing and has not let a day go by without their provision being me t in someway but I hope you all might be able to help. Anyways, thankyou for your time and if you wish for elaboration please call.

With eagerness, hope and love,

Jeremy(949)463-4666

Dear Friends In Need of help,

We are so sorry that we could not help more families at this time with rent,  each post sent, was read and caused many to shed tears, No one had the heart to pick which familes were in the worst condition so we decided to have a drawing the families have been notified and gave permission for us to post thier names,  The Simmons Family from Lansing MI, The Bonkowski Family from Baltimore, Md, and The Dawson Family from Chicago, IL.....  Please dont be to upset your name was not picked we have saved all post and we are now currently trying to raise funds to have this same program next month. IIf your family submitted a request for assistance in Febuary we will automaticly re enter your name. Also some of the ladies have donated time to help out so if we can help you located a certain program for assitance in your state please let us know what you need.. Thanks so much for allowing us on this site and as the funds come in we will make sure they go out to help the people in need on aidpage...... 

Many childcare centres frown upon parents who still bring their children to the facility when they are clearly sick. While this may seem irresponsible and disrespectful to the centre and the perfectly healthy children, what are you to do when there are no other options?

Many permanent or full time positions now offer family leave for situations such as this and some parents choose to utilise their own sick or holiday leave to stay at home with their child. This is particularly difficult for parents with relatively young children who often get repeatedly sick with colds and minor viruses when first attending daycare.

The other concern is what if you have a deadline that has to be met? While the good ol’ grandparents, aunties, uncles and friends make great babysitters, often these situations arise at short notice and during the working week. Gone are the days where it was deemed appropriate to bring your child into work and sit them in the corner with some crayons and paper, so what options do you have?

With the latest technology many jobs can be completed from home. This is an option that you should talk about with you boss prior to a child becoming ill. Utilising your time in lieu is another option. Many people work extra hours and combine this time to take a day off a month or fortnight. If you recognise early on in your child’s life that they are prone to getting sick, then maybe this a way that you can collect extra family leave. This option should also be spoken about with you superiors. Remember preparation is the key! Discuss your options when you first start back at work so everyone knows the plan. It is probably wise to keep other colleagues abreast of your projects and have a ‘wing man’ if you for some reason you cannot meet a deadline

Nicholas, your brave in looking for information. I know the pain you are going to by what the family is doing to you.

But look, fighting and playing there games will not get you anywhere. You said that you hired a lawyer. Go find one that is outside from the town you live in and make sure that it's a family lawyer. 

Write down everything they are doing to you. Ask the question why to yourself. Take that information to the lawyer and fight for your child. Fight hard. Leave them alone and don't fall into there trap. 

It will change, be strong for your child and nothing else. It will work out on your side. It will. 

My names Nicholas Srader. I'm 25, I live in Belton Missouri. my son was born 7-7-08. I was there from begining to end for my kids mother during her pregnancy and the birth. I slept on that crappy bed each and every night at her beck and call. she changed not one diaper until we got home and she felt better. 3 weeks later shes cheating on me and I havnt seen my son since. Yes I hired a lawyer. But she has thrown up ever single flag possible to erase me from his life. She wasnt even going to let me see him during our DNA proceeding and even then, my son had grown so much I didnt even recognize him for the 2 seconds i had to confirm it was indeed my son. Its been 6 months now, and still I know nothing about him. Her father threatens to kill me, her parents stalk my family at walmart making funny faces and prancing my son around like a trophy. Someone please reach out to this girl, tell her what the affects are going to be for my son if she continues down this road of destruction. He needs love, from every which way he can get it. Family is all we have in this world and this girl and her family see none of it. I'm begging anyone to reach out and help me show these people the light.

you can email me at nsrader13@live.com I dont know her email but she has a facebook under Lauren Noel Rice

will you please check my profile out and read all of it... i need help. i hope to find it on here. ive tried everything. please respond thank you and god bless you

The Story of the Single Mom Who is Still Holding On, off the top of her head because it is simply cathartic:

At some point you get so numb that you don’t know what you’re doing anymore.  You find no more energy than it takes to play 2-Suit Spider Solitaire, 4-Suits not even remotely within your mental ability these days.  Concentration is impossible.  The mind wanders forlornly off toward the edge of the abyss which contains at its depths the souls of single-moms who couldn’t make it and lost their children to the system.  They failed. 

Failure is only a fraction of an inch away now.  You look over the edge and linger there, floating against the invisible curtain that keeps you from falling.  “Is it God?”  you wonder, “who keeps me from going over? Because it can’t be myself.  I have no strength left.  No will.  No hope.”  Beaten down, beaten down.  Battle after battle, one does not end before the next begins.  $110,000 to date in legal fees (on credit cards) just to keep your children.  The scornful looks from the attorneys, even your own.  The cheating and manipulating that goes on behind the scenes – there is absolutely no justice system.  The one with the most money wins.   He rapes your child, Child Protective Services interviews you.  “If it happens again, we’ll recommend foster care.”  He walks away laughing – psychotic resonance.   I cry for my child. 

The constant static in the ears, fog before the eyes, tingle under the scull bone, hunger below the stomach, nausea, dread.  Yes, it is dread.  What will tomorrow bring?  Will I awake from this nightmare?  When I do awake, will I still be alive?  Or will I awake in the arms of The Father, leaving my children back on earth with this monster.  No!  I must live…for them.  Just live for them.

I ask myself, “Why do you sit at the computer and play, when there is so much more to be done?  When you need to feed your children?  When you need to feed yourself?  When you haven’t bathed in over a week, nor have you bathed your children in – what, a month?”  You console yourself in the fact that they’ve been swimming in a chlorinated pool recently, so they’re clean.  Then you go back to stacking queens on kings, jacks on queens, tens on jacks, nines on tens, eights on nines, sevens on eights, sixes on sevens, fives on sixes, fours on fives, threes on fours, twos on threes, aces on twos, and sometimes the fireworks happen on the screen and you are given a reward.  You’ve won.  You’ve won something, if not much.  But, you’ve won, and it is worth a few seconds of hope.

“I’ve accomplished something today!”  you cheer.  And you know that if you can win at Solataire, then you can get dressed today.  You might even brush your teeth or hair.  And tomorrow you might put on make-up.  And the next day you might be able to pick up the phone and call an old friend.  And old friend who wonders why she hasn’t heard from you and calls you “snob” behind your back because you’ve blown her off.  She won’t call you because you’re undoubetly stuck-up these days.  But little does she know that you just can’t face her.  You’re too sad now.  You’d just depress her.  And if you met her for coffee at your favorite hang-out of days past, you’d only embarrass her because there is no way to hide the new wrinkles, nothing works to rid your eyes of the red lines, and you’ve aged 20 years in 3.  You won’t call her this week, nor the next, nor the next.  And you won’t call others.  And soon, they won’t call you and you’ll eventually have absolutely no support at all.

While you’re dwelling on your friend who hasn’t called, one of the children asks for food.  The other informs you that he has no more clean underwear.  You put a load in the wash, realize you’re out of laundry detergent, use dish soap instead, and return to your game.  It goes on like this for weeks, then months.  Even though you know that you must do something to earn a living before the IRA you cashed in early runs out, and before you’ve sold everything worth anything.  You must do something for work, but that something must allow for childcare.

A job offer comes.  It is $22.00 / hour, 35 hours per week, no benefits.  Better than nothing.  Or is it?  Daycare will be $20.00 / hour for the two children, 45 hours per week with commute time to and from work.  So you call everyone you know trying to find less expensive daycare.  Your mother won’t come to stay to help you from across the country because she’s retired now (and just a little bit senile) and enjoying her tea parties and bingo at the Lutheran Church.  You’ve no other relative to ask.  The neighbor kids are too busy.  You don’t qualify for low-income child care because you haven’t lost everything yet.  Human Services tells you to call back after the house has gone back to the bank.  You call every other single mom you can think of.  Maybe you can tag-team the childcare effort so both of you can work?  But no, they’ve got a relative to help out with their kids, but that relative won’t help with kids they don’t know.  Or they’ve already lost their homes so public assistance is meeting their child care needs.

“Just let the house go back to the bank,”  says one of my single-mom friends.  “I did it, and I’m so much happier now.  I get food stamps.  I can go to the food bank.  I get help with everything.  Just let the house go.  Do it… for your kids.”

I go on an otherwise gloriously sunny Sunday afternoon to pick up my children after visitation with their father from his new residence.  He and his girlfriend live in a new home that he built in a ski area – 80 miles from his children.  Then she moved in.  They both ski, and her family actually owns the resort.  The Hummer and Expedition are parked in the driveway, because the two car garage is only big enough for the Subaru and Land Rover.  “The kids have just gotten out of the pool and will be a few minutes getting dried off,”  the girlfriend tells you, “You can wait on the porch if you want.”

You will never be invited in to see the granite counter tops, the Viking range, the Bosch dishwasher, the Sub-Zero refrigerator, the furniture from Roche Bobois - all of those many things that your 11-year-old daughter told you about, “Why can’t we get a swimming pool like daddy has?”  And after you’ve been asked the question a-hundred and fifty nine million times, you’ll finally scream back an answer – “Because we have to eat!”

There is absolutely no idea in their father’s mind that possibly he is greedy, selfish, and has done wrong not only to you, but also to the children through his well thought out and determined efforts to hide every cent from attorneys and investigators and to set himself, and his never-been-a-mother-herself girlfriend, up in luxury knowing full well that you cannot even work to take care of your kids – his kids.  But his obligation in the matter, as he recognizes it to be, is to entertain the children two weekends a month and one week at Christmas and one week during summer break, and to send a check for the lowest possible amount  permissible under State law for child support.  And even then, the check doesn’t always arrive, at least not on time.  He knows that it will take the District Attorney’s office at least 6 months to catch up with him, and then he’ll just get a slap on the hand.

You can’t count on him, but your kids love him and want to be with him and think he is the most wonderful and generous person in the world because he takes them to Disneyland and buys them anything they ask for – things to be kept at “daddy’s fun house.”  And that is what he calls his home on the ski slopes. 

You (I am) are a spiritual and loving person and can wish no one ill.   So on those rare times when you get really angry with him when the check doesn’t come and you have to sell your grandmother’s antique sewing machine to pay the mortgage, and you yell, “I hate the bastard!”, you have to feel the guilt, punish yourself, ask forgiveness for your sin, ask God to take away the hatred.  Ask God to bless him – “God, please bless my children’s father, take away his pain.”  3 minutes later you log on to Craig’s List and advertise your father’s first office chair which was given to him upon his college graduation in 1947 by his proud father.  It could bring in enough for groceries this month.  Then you try to “get off your duff,” as someone who doesn’t know anything about you has suggested, and find a job that you can do at home while you care for your children, while you wait for the house to sell.   And you know everything will be o'k.

 Hello, I do not know where to look for help.  I am certain almost everyone knows someone who could use a break or wants a better life for themselves or someone they care about.  me too.  I have a single mom friend, actually all 3 are single moms, with FAS she has a sweet little girl she is great with.  Another friend has a child with developmental difficulties, and the third is physically challenged.  Together they make a great team.  The house across the street from me is for sale.  190,000 as is.  the vacant lot next to is is going for 25,000. ( different owner)  It is shaped like a Christmas tree and has four levels.  With a little revamping, it could provide seperation and privacy as well as the togetherness these ladies could use to improve everyones lives.  I think a mini-van is in order too.  ( doesn't have to be new. )  It is right by the schools and the bus route.  Where do I start?  Personally, I have provided homehealth care for almost 3 years and have no real training in the field, I am working on my own down payment, so I've got my own stuff going on.  But, what if there is help out there, what if changes could be made...got any ideas?  Thank you, Michelle, North Pole Alaska

M.O.M.S., MakingLemonade.com & SingleMoms.com have teamed to help single Moms and their children.

As founders of our single parent organizations, we know first hand the struggles most single parents families on a daily basis. The most common challenge for working single moms is just making it through the month with enough budget to buy the bare necessities and pay the bills.

This is why we created Give A Single Mom A Vacation! It's simple for our single moms to participate. Each month our members contribute $5 to have their name included in the following months drawing for a vacation giveaway. Some members put in $10 or $20 and they are given an extra entry for every $5 they enter. Or in some cases, the members put in extra for to enter the name of a single mom who cannot afford the $5. Our first vacation will be awarded September 15, 2006. Gift From God founder Brian Cook will draw a members name literally from out of a hat and that Mom and her kids are going on a VACATION. Every single dollar contributed is used for that months giveaway.

Unfortunately, the majority of the members cannot even afford the $5. Five Dollars is equal to a Gallon of milk or a couple of gallons of gas which will make the difference in getting to work or not. So, as some of us can sponsor a few members that cannot afford to contribute toward the drawing, we certainly need help in sponsoring others.

Please consider sponsoring one or more of our members.

Thank you,
Ms. Spencer Betz
760-726-7978

What single mom couldn't use a vacation? Lord knows we all need it, but those of those who aren't chosen that month will live vicariously through you who won!

Please contact Spencer at spencer@singlemoms.org, Jodi at jodi@makinglemonade.com or Amanda@singlemom.com with any questions you may have.

Thank you and Good Luck!
Spencer Betz Founder of www.singlemoms.org
Jodi Seidler Founder of www.makinglemonade.com
Amanda Bach Founder of www.singlemoms.com

Members May Only Win Once In A 24 Month Period. This gives better odds for those that have not yet won...

SEPTEMBER 16, 2006
OUR FIRST VACATION WAS AWARDED TODAY, BY DRAWING TO MICHELLE O. OF BEAVERTON, OREGON. SHE IS MOM TO ONE TEN YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AND THEIR IDEA OF A VACATION IS TO GO TO DISNEYLAND. WE HAVE RAISED $385 TOWARD THE TRIP AND I AM WORKING HARD TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN FOR HER. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME WITH ANY QUESTIONS YOU MAY HAVE REGARDING MICHELLE OR OUR GROUP IN GENERAL.

Recently divorced single mom is struggling to get back on feet.  Running low on food.  Brakes are grinding on car.  Com-ed and Nicor are threatning to shut me off.  House phone is already off.  This story can go on and on.  I work everyday--hard, but just can't seem to get on top and get everything under control.  All I need is a little boost to get me going, and I believe I can make it. Because, I consider myself a soldier and a surviver.